September 29, 2026
In my last newsletter, I wrote about something that has been coming up repeatedly with my coaching clients: the need to communicate more concisely.
I wrote about why we overtalk and some strategies for saying less while still being clear, thoughtful, and, well…you.
Knowing you need to be more concise and knowing where all those extra words are coming from are two different things. So, this week, I want to give you an exercise I use with my coaching clients to help them figure it out.
Conduct a Communication Audit
1. Record yourself speaking.
Record yourself answering a question, explaining an idea, giving an update or presentation, or having a conversation. Speak naturally. Don’t try to be concise just because you’re recording.
Then transcribe exactly what you said.
2. Strip it down to the essential message.
Now comes the fun part. Cross out every word that doesn’t add meaning to the content.
Take out the filler. The repetition. The qualifiers. The unnecessary examples. The windup. Even take out the connector words. What remains should almost sound like a caveman—or like you’re speaking to a very young child:
Need decision. Budget approved. Start Monday.
It isn’t pretty. That’s the point. You’re trying to uncover the essential message underneath all those words.
3. Build it back.
Now add back the connector words and context needed to make it sound natural, professional, and like you.
But here’s the rule: Every word has to earn its way back in.
Does it add clarity? Improve the tone? Strengthen connection? Provide necessary context?
If not, leave it out.
You can do the same thing with an email. Before hitting send, strip it down to the essential message. Then add back only what improves clarity, tone, or connection.
4. Analyze your overtalking pattern.
Now look at everything you crossed out. Don’t just count the extra words—look for patterns.
Were you:
- Repeating the same point in different ways?
- Giving more detail or examples than necessary?
- Adding qualifiers or softening language before getting to the point?
- Thinking out loud and taking the listener through your processing?
- Filling space because you were uncomfortable with silence?
- Adding context the listener didn’t actually need?
Then ask yourself: What was I trying to accomplish with those extra words?
Maybe you were trying to be clearer. Maybe you wanted to sound thoughtful. Maybe you were worried about being too direct. Maybe you were simply figuring out what you thought as you spoke.
That’s your overtalking tendency—and knowing it gives you something specific to work on.
Now, Catch Yourself in the Act
Once you recognize your pattern, pay attention to when it shows up in real time.
When you hear yourself repeating the point, adding another example, softening the message, or continuing because no one has responded yet—stop. Trust that you’ve said enough and allow the silence.
You won’t catch yourself every time. But the more aware you become of your tendency, the easier it becomes to recognize that moment when your message is complete—and resist the urge to keep going.
The goal isn’t to become a person of fewer words. It’s to become a person whose words have more impact.
Because sometimes, saying less helps people hear you more.