Last week I went off on a tangent to my younger self. I shared the advice I would give my younger self – make them want to say yes. This concept applies so broadly, but I am going to get specific this week. Negotiations are on my mind. (Probably because I am negotiating virtual programs which is a whole new pricing model!)

One reason people want to say yes is because of the relationship they have with you. Big shock to hear me reiterate that relationships and connections are everything. The relationship you develop with the person across the table (or zoom these days) has a big part in the eventual outcome.

And the relationship you have after the negotiation will determine future negotiations as well. Here are my tips for an effective negotiation and three things you can do to increase your odds on getting the “yes” you are looking for:

1.Be open and accepting

The best outcome of a negotiation will not result from one or both parties digging in and being tied to one outcome. Listen to what the other person is asking for. What do they want? Better yet – why do they want it? What can you do to help them get what they want? Are there other ways to accomplish other than what they are proposing? How is it related to what you want? Remember, what the other person wants in a negotiation may not be the opposite of what you want. Is there a way to maximize interests?

2.Have a clear vision

At the beginning of your conversation, establish the goal of it. This is a wise practice for most problem-solving discussions. Understand and share your priorities in the conversation. The vision should include not just the negotiation elements but how the communication will ensue and how the relationship will be impacted. During the negotiation, keep all aspects of your vision in mind.

3.Come from a place of abundance

Even though a negotiation involves what you want, also think about what you can give. Show interest and understanding for their objectives and the reason behind them. Abundance leads to creativity and innovative thinking. How can you help the other person accomplish their objectives which will in turn make them want to reciprocate and help you. Be enthusiastic about your willingness to provide, without losing sight of your own goals.