I often work with clients who are amazingly talented, technically and less than amazing interpersonally. Shifting from great contributor to great team leader is probably the most common reason organizations have their leaders work with an executive coach.
During the 360 process, I speak to people up, down, and across the organization from my client. I hear the same feedback … “people don’t want to work for them” or “they have high turnover.” Sometimes, HR complaints are even involved. These companies don’t want to lose this valuable talent, but they need to help them become better people leaders.
I had one such client that was incredibly expressive. If he thought something, it was so obvious on his face. His facial reactions, while unintentional, could instantly shut down conversations or stifle ideas. It reminded me of something I heard from Alan Mulally, known as one of the greatest leaders from his days at Ford and Boeing.
He said, “As a leader, your facial expressions are no longer just your own; they carry significant weight.”
If this sounds like you, consider how you might build a new habit.
- Don’t Speak First: I encourage you to speak last or at least not first. Get other ideas in the room. Encourage those that may be tentative with, “I want to hear from a few of you while I am considering the situation.”
- Ask Questions: Come from a place of curiosity. Play the detective really trying to understand how the idea shared would work. Watch your phrasing to not put them on the defensive.
- Watch Your Facial Reaction. To get better at this one, practice expressing curiosity, attentiveness, and appreciation. Let these become your go-to expressions. If that is too hard, simply attempt a blank face and add a tilt of the head or a nod to show you are taking it in.
As a leader, your face should reflect caring, support, commitment, and appreciation for your team. I even had to tell one client, “You have a nice smile – use it more!” Smiling upon seeing someone, making eye contact – these simple actions can have a profound impact.
I’ll never forget meeting the amazing Alan Mulally. The way he made me feel valued and seen during our brief interaction left a lasting impression.
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As a leader, ask yourself: How are you making others feel? Are you truly connected to your people, not just their results?