I was chatting with my new friend and mentor, 25 year old Alexa Scordato, and she said something that rung such a chord, I had to share. She said, “When asked where I wanted to go, I answered, ‘The Land of Enough.’” What a magical place that must be, this Land of Enough. Where we have enough, we do enough, we are good enough for ourselves and those around us. I want to go there too!I have always been a driven person. In college I would set a goal then strive to exceed it. I graduated 13th in my class and it bothered me that I wasn’t top 10. I know, completely ridiculous!Why is it that no matter what – it never seems to be enough? Is this gender specific or maybe the culture I grew up in or maybe just the way my brain is wired? But I am guessing that there are many who feel the same way.
On the plus side, this “more” attitude is what pushes us to excel, work harder, learn more, and potentially be a better contributor to the world around us. On the flip side it is also what stresses us out, causes insomnia, feelings of self doubt, and a lack of contentment that can leave us feeling empty.
So what to do? How do we find that elusive balance? Two thoughts have helped me.
1. “Good enough is good enough.” I heard this saying when I attended a talk about work life balance for mommies. Yes, it is true that we can probably always do more. But is more always better? Consider the idea that not doing more is the accomplishment – celebrate that and accept that it is more than OK.
2. “What’s my purpose – right now?” I tend to be doing one thing but thinking about the 10 other things I should or could be doing; which makes me less than present and potentially ineffective with whatever I am doing. This idea grounds me. I tell myself that my purpose in this moment is to do the thing I am doing and it helps push aside the other thoughts attempting to split my attention.
How do you get to the Land of Enough – I need more ideas. Please share in the comments below.
Michelle!
How very kind of you to think of me and share this insight on your blog! Thanks a bunch 🙂 I’ve gone on to do some thinking since we last spoke and I came to a few realizations:
1) When we find ourselves searching for more, why not list everything we currently have? I’ve done this a couple of times now where I’ve given myself 60 seconds to list out things in my life I’m grateful for. I’m always left with a full sheet of paper and a feeling of satisfaction. This might be a temporary solution, but in the moment, I most definitely feel like I have more than enough.
2) Although there’s no roadmap to get to the land of enough, I fundamentally believe that growth and curiosity is our best compass. When I’m itching and yearning for more, questioning my purpose, or doubting my ability, I seek out new experiences (people, events, ideas). This allows me to gain new perspectives that in turn, make the course I’m on feel fresh and new again.
Alexa you continue to be a source of knowledge, inspiration and ideas. My enough seems to be associated with accomplishment rather than physical stuff – but I see how it can still be applied.
I love this post. I too suffer from a pretty severe case of perfectionism, fully equipped with that reel in my head that constantly questions whether my efforts as a mother, wife, daughter, marketer, runner are good enough. For so many of us, our instinct is to overlook our accomplishments in favor of dwelling on what “still needs to be done.” I like Alexa’s list idea because I think sitting down and physically writing or typing a list compels us to internalize some of that positivity. It’s so easy to dismiss the good stuff as a fleeting thought, instead of making it the foundation of how we should be viewing ourselves and our lives. Thanks for making me think about this today.