Thank you to all those who reached out with condolences to my family, regarding the passing of my mom. I am fulfilling one of my mother’s last wishes and am on vacation in Hawaii. I know so many have gone through hard losses as well and my heart goes out to each and every one of you. This is an incredibly hard loss for me and hearing your stories reminds me I am not alone.
As my mother’s health deteriorated, I found there were nights when I couldn’t sleep. I knew her time was not long and I found myself thinking about the words I would say at her funeral. Then I realized, those words shouldn’t wait. I actually had the chance to make sure my mother heard everything I would want her to know. I got out of bed and began to type.
Two single-spaced, wide-margined pages flew out of me. I printed them out and drove to the hospital. It felt a little odd to tell my mother I wrote her eulogy. My sister definitely gave me a strange look. But I explained that I thought it was important that she got to hear the words and for her to know the impact she had.
I couldn’t speak the words, I would have never been able to get through them. I had to just let her read them. And she did. Her response was, “WOW! I am thrilled I was able to accomplish all you stated and that you girls have taken over as I have from my mom.”
Sharing those thoughts was the best thing I did, and it gives me comfort now that she is gone.
Do you have words you think about saying to someone but it seems too hard or feels weird? Try my trick, write them down and just let them read it. However you do it, don’t stay silent. The people around you will view your words as a gift. The result will be a greater and deeper connection – that is unless the words are super mean or venting hurt. Though even then, if your intent is to seek to resolve and are sharing to get past something and you make sure that intention is clear, sharing could have a positive result.
I realize my last two newsletters are not as much about the workplace as usual, though I truly believe these concepts apply in all aspects of our life. At work, we often don’t say “thank you for…” or “I noticed…” or “I admire…” or “I appreciate…” nearly as often as we could. How can you make sure people hear the words that will have a positive impact and strengthen your relationship? Hot tip: an email works too.
The way I always implement this is when I share something nice about someone or someone shares something nice about a person, I then make sure they hear it. Always adding, “I believe people should hear the good things people say about them behind their backs.” So instead of just thinking the good, share it.
I appreciate your indulgence in allowing me to share. Next week – back to business!