Trust is not rational

Trust is not rational

I recently gave my Connected Leadership talk to a women’s group at Capital One.

 

During my talk, I allow the audience to choose which of the seven mindsets of a Connector they want to learn about. (Want to learn more about the seven mindset’s? Grab a copy of my book, The Connector’s Advantage: 7 Mindsets to Grow Your Influence and Impact.)

 

The 7 mindsets of a Connector’s are:

  1. Open & Accepting
  2. Have a Clear Vision
  3. Trust
  4. Abundance
  5. Social & Curious
  6. Conscientious
  7. Generous Spirit

This group overwhelming wanted to talk about trust. It is not surprising since trust is such an amorphous concept. Trust can be a verb, a noun and even an adjective (trusting, trustworthy). Trust drives the way we act and interact. It impacts our decisions and how we are influenced.

 

Trust is tricky. It is also situational. You may trust someone to give you career advice but not fashion advice. So how do you define this broad concept of trust?

 

It is a question I pose to many audiences and people always struggle with this. I have never gotten the same definition twice. But I do hear a lot of the same words and phrases such as, it’s a feeling, a knowing, a belief.

 

And then I heard somebody nail it. They said, “Trust is a feeling, not a rational decision.”
That really resonated with me because trust is not rational. Sure, we can look at evidence and experience and make a choice about trusting or not trusting. But at the end of the day, we have no proof.

 

As you contemplate the concept of trust, think about how you access that irrational choice to believe what you believe, to trust what you expect will happen in an exchange with another person?

 

I have written about trust many times and you can read about the Four Pillars Of Trust and about Restoring Broken Trust.

 

Remember, you have to give trust to get trust. Trust is a gift and an investment in a relationship. A willingness to trust is embedded in a Connector’s mindset. If trust is hard for you, start small. Seek to reinforce experiences in which your trust was justified.

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