I recently had the pleasure of attending a conference filled with incredibly smart, inspiring, and fabulous women. The night before the event, a group of us gathered over pizza, salads, and more than a few bottles of wine—and as often happens in those informal moments, the conversations went deep, fast.
Many of the women there are part of the MG 100 organization and participate in the Connect groups I facilitate. In the most recent round of groups, I unintentionally created something new: an all-women Connect group. It wasn’t planned—but the feedback was powerful. Words like phenomenal, deep, and transformational came up again and again.
What struck me most was the contrast. I’ve been in many groups where I was the only woman in the room, and those conversations didn’t always reach the same level of openness or depth. That observation sparked a rich discussion—one that keeps coming up in leadership spaces—about three concepts we often blur together but shouldn’t:
Authenticity. Vulnerability. Disclosure.
They are related, but they are not the same.
Authenticity: Being Real Without Explaining Everything
Authenticity is about being aligned with who you truly are—your values, your perspective, your presence. What it is not is a requirement to share every detail of your story.
You can be authentic and still private.
You can say, “I’m feeling stretched today,” without explaining every reason why. You can show up honestly without sharing your full history, personal challenges, or inner life. Authenticity is internal congruence—it’s about truthfulness, not transparency.
This distinction is especially important at work. What feels appropriate to share in a trusted Connect group may not land the same way in a professional setting. And that doesn’t make you less authentic—it makes you discerning.
Authenticity always lands. Disclosure is situational.
Disclosure: Sharing the Details (When It Serves the Moment)
Disclosure is the act of sharing personal information—your past, your struggles, your experiences. It can be incredibly meaningful in the right context.
But disclosure is not always necessary, and it’s not always appropriate.
What works in a close, trusted Connect group—where consent, safety, and shared norms exist—may not be right for a workplace meeting or leadership moment. Disclosure should be intentional, not reflexive.
A helpful question to ask before disclosing is:
Who is this for—and what purpose does it serve?
Disclosure is powerful when it supports connection or healing. It’s risky when it’s unprocessed, misaligned with the setting, or shared without clarity.
Vulnerability: Openness Without Oversharing
Vulnerability is a word I’ve had a long—and sometimes complicated—relationship with. Over the years, I’ve talked in many programs about how vulnerability can actually build credibility. It’s not weakness; it’s openness.
But here’s the nuance we often miss:
Vulnerability does not have to be personal.
Vulnerability can look like:
- Admitting you don’t have all the answers
- Acknowledging a mistake or imperfection
- Naming a challenge you’re actively working through
- Being honest about what you’re still learning
Vulnerability is about revealing your humanity—not your deepest wounds. It’s about allowing yourself to be seen as real, not raw.
At work, vulnerability is most powerful when it builds trust, connection, and clarity—not when it shifts emotional weight onto others.
Choosing Intentionally as Leaders and Humans
As leaders, team members, and humans navigating complex relationships, we don’t have to choose between being real and being professional. We get to be intentional.
- Authenticity is about alignment.
- Vulnerability is about openness.
- Disclosure is about information.
Knowing the difference allows us to show up with clarity, confidence, and care—without oversharing or self-censoring.
As you move through your work and relationships this week, I invite you to reflect:
- Where can I be more authentic?
- Where might vulnerability build trust?
- And where is disclosure better held, rather than shared?
Awareness is leadership. And discernment is strength.