Do you always say what you think? I used to teach, “If you think it, say it.” But when I received some funny looks, it made me realize that, perhaps, I needed to adjust that saying to be conveyed in a more positive way!
Often, we think good thoughts about others, but we don’t always express them. I am known for saying:
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A Small Shift in How We Show Up
What changed for me wasn’t the intent behind the message — it was the awareness of how it lands. Saying everything we think isn’t always helpful. But sharing the positive things we think? That’s where the real impact lives.
There’s a difference between reacting and reinforcing. One is about expression. The other is about intention.
It brings me joy to be able to share with people the good things others are saying about them when they are not around to hear it firsthand. There is no downside to this practice. Some of the benefits of doing this are:
- It increases self-esteem and confidence.
- It shows recognition and appreciation.
- It strengthens relationships.
- And best of all, it puts a smile on someone’s face and brightens their day.
Why We Don’t Say It More Often
If the benefits are so clear, why don’t we do this more consistently?
Sometimes it’s hesitation — wondering how it will be received.
Sometimes it’s timing — assuming we’ll say it later and then never do.
Sometimes it’s simply that we’re moving too quickly to pause and acknowledge what we’re noticing.
Most of the time, it’s not because of a lack of positive thoughts — rather a lack of follow-through on expressing them.
Wouldn’t it be nice if, instead of keeping it to ourselves, we took the time to share with others the nice or positive things were are thinking about them?
I was reminded of the power of receiving positive feedback from one of my readers, Farid. In the picture, you can see some of the notes he took while reading my book. He then took the time to send me the photo and a note where he shared how much he was learning and gaining from my book.
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Every time I receive positive words about my work, it has a great impact on me. It feels incredibly validating and rewarding to know that my work and words are having a positive impact on someone.
The Multiplier Effect of Recognition
What’s easy to overlook is that recognition doesn’t just impact the person receiving it in the moment, it often influences how they show up moving forward.
When people feel seen and appreciated, they are more likely to:
– Repeat positive behaviors
– Engage more fully in their work
– Extend that same recognition to others
– Contribute more openly and confidently
One genuine comment can create a ripple effect that goes far beyond the moment it was shared.
I know I am not the only one who feels good when receiving positive comments. In fact, one of the top 3 ways to ensure job satisfaction for your team is to generously share appreciation and recognition for employee contributions. In other words, if employees feel valued, they will report higher levels of satisfaction and happiness at their jobs.
From Thought to Action
If you want to make this a habit, it doesn’t require a big shift, just a more intentional one.
Try this:
– The next time you think something positive about someone, say it within the moment
– Give details about what you noticed — that specificity makes it more meaningful
– Share something you heard about them from someone else — this adds an extra layer of impact
– Don’t overthink the delivery — sincerity matters more than perfection
These small actions don’t take much time, but they make a lasting impression.
Want to continue thinking about how to have greater influence and impact at work or as a leader? Check out my book, The Connector’s Advantage to learn more and get a special BOGO offer on the book!