If you have been reading my musings for a while, you may recall some feedback my kids have given me a few times during our family feedback sessions. (Yes, we really do these—I wrote about it here.) My “suggestions for improvement” almost always revolve around slowing down and being more patient. My sister calls me impulsive. I always thought I was just action-oriented.
It got me thinking about the question: “Am I being efficient or just impatient?” In my head, I was just being proactive.
Where’s The Line Between Efficiency and Impatience?
On the surface, they can look identical. Both move fast. Both value momentum. Both hate wasted time. The difference isn’t speed — its intention, awareness, and impact.
Efficiency is about getting things done well—removing friction, streamlining steps, and making the most of your time. It’s strategic. It’s intentional. It considers both outcomes and people.
Impatience, on the other hand, is about rushing—pushing for results before the process (or the people involved) are ready. It’s reactive. It’s driven by discomfort with waiting rather than clarity about what’s actually required.
Here’s the tricky part: impatience often disguises itself as efficiency, especially for high performers and action-oriented people. When you’re used to moving quickly and delivering results, it’s easy to justify urgency — even when it’s creating friction instead of removing it.
Here’s what I’m thinking I need to pay attention to more in the moment:
- Efficiency feels calm, focused, and purposeful. You’re present. You’ve thought through the trade-offs. You’re clear on why speed matters here, and you’re willing to slow down elsewhere. Your actions are driven less by time pressure and more by thoughtful foresight.
- Impatience feels urgent, restless, and potentially a little reckless. You’re pushing because waiting feels uncomfortable. You may be mentally ahead of everyone else — and frustrated that they aren’t keeping up. Or if you are like me, you are just eager to cross something off your to-do list.
What I have come to notice is that when I think I am being efficient or action-oriented by moving quickly, I end up causing rework because I didn’t wait for all the information. This happened recently when I signed up for an event and then booked a hotel before the group rate was available. As a result, I had to book again and cancel the first one. Not so efficient after all ☹.
The Tells Others Pick Up On
One of the biggest clues lives outside of us — in how others experience our pace.
When you’re operating from efficiency, people often feel:
- Clear on priorities
- Supported, even when moving fast
- Energized by momentum
- Confident in the direction
When impatience creeps in, people may experience:
- Being interrupted or talked over
- Feeling rushed to decide before they’re ready
- Stress or defensiveness
- The sense that speed matters more than their input
You may think you’re helping things move along. They may feel like they’re being dragged.
The Internal Signals We Tend to Ignore
Internally, efficiency and impatience send very different signals — if we’re paying attention.
Efficiency sounds like:
- “This is the right next step.”
- “We’ve got enough information to move forward.”
- “Speed here creates value.”
Impatience sounds more like:
- “Why is this taking so long?”
- “I just want this done.”
- “I’ll fix it myself — it’ll be faster.”
One is grounded in choice. The other is driven by irritation.
How Do You Tell Which One You’re Operating From? Try asking yourself:
- Am I moving quickly because it’s the best way forward—or because I just want this over with?
- Will slowing down improve the outcome, or am I just afraid of losing momentum?
- Is my urgency helping the team, or creating unnecessary stress?
The Power of a Pause
Sometimes, the most efficient thing you can do is pause. Take a breath. Ask for input. Let a solution simmer. That moment of patience can be the difference between a quick fix and a lasting result.
And if you’re like me, and your feedback always seems to be “slow down,” maybe it’s not about changing who you are—but about noticing when your efficiency tips into impatience. That awareness is where growth happens.
A Challenge for This Week
I am giving you the challenge I am giving myself. As I notice my impulse to act fast, I am stopping for a moment to ask myself… Is this efficiency or impatience?
Experiment with a strategic pause—especially if your instinct is to push ahead. Invite feedback from your team or family: Do they experience your pace as helpful, or hurried?
Efficiency is a gift—when it’s paired with patience. That’s what makes action truly impactful, at work and at home. I am not completely sure I know which I am being in any particular moment, but I do know I will slow down enough to ask myself the question before acting a lot more often.
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