Last year about this time I wrote a post called, Is Guilt A Good Motivator. The conclusion I made was that sometimes guilt can be a powerful driver of needed action. It turns out, some of these negative emotions seem to be a catalyst for me. This year, the emotion is fear.
My daughter was sick the entirety of her first semester of college. We did testing. Her primary care doctor sent her to a gastroenterologist. Then we were referred to an endocrinologist, infectious disease specialist, and finally a rheumatologist after everyone was indicating this was an auto immune issue. She had gastro symptoms, recurring fevers, exhaustion, sore throat, and consistent headaches. This was sounding all too familiar.
It was almost 10 years ago when she got really sick and they did a full body scan looking for tumors. They never figured out why she was sick then. Called it a post viral syndrome that lasted for months.
It was just over 5 years ago when my son got sick and was diagnosed with Lupus Nephritis.
It felt like it was happening again. She had been experiencing some symptoms for years but in 2022 we were told that “at this time, she didn’t have Lupus.” I analyzed all her blood work. It showed the markers for Lupus. I was mentally preparing her and myself for, what felt like, the inevitable.
I thought to myself, if she has Lupus too, I will be donating much more of my energy to The Lupus Research Alliance! That is the organization we discovered when James was diagnosed, just three years after I was diagnosed. They were amazing! The president of the organization personally got on the phone with me. He educated me about the current research and treatment options. He then personally referred me to the best Rheumatologist in the country to make sure we could get an appointment with her. Wow!
I am so grateful to him and the Lupus Research Alliance, which is another reason I do their Walk for the Cure every year. Though fear had me extra motivated this year.
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About Lupus and Our Story:
For those unfamiliar with it, Lupus is a painful autoimmune disease that is more common than leukemia, muscular dystrophy, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis and cystic fibrosis. Yet, it doesn’t get nearly the same attention or research dollars to find a cure for this currently incurable condition.
Because no two cases are exactly the same and its symptoms mimic those of other diseases, the exact cause of lupus is unknown, so it is difficult to diagnose. I was seeing three different types of doctors before one put the puzzle pieces together and I was diagnosed in 2018. We were also lucky that in December of 2020, the doctors finally figured out why my son was getting sick so often. It took two biopsies, and three opinions to get his diagnosis of lupus nephritis and rapidly progressive kidney disease. Right before his 15th birthday, he started chemo.
You can read the full story here.
The good news, James is in remission, and in his sophomore year at Michigan – the reason for our team’s name Blue Maize & Purple. I am doing ok too 😊.
The even better news, Naomi is still not diagnosed with Lupus, though it may be in her future. As it turned out, she had cytomegalovirus, strep, and mono. All during the first semester, all undiagnosed, and all untreated. Oy!
Be A Part of Our Team:
Whether fear or gratitude is the emotional inspiration this year, I am excited to be raising money and awareness about Lupus and the research the LRA is doing to find a cure. This year the walk is on May 9th at the Meadowlands Racetrack. We would love for you to be a part of our team and come out and walk with us. If you can’t make it in person, please consider supporting our team Blue Maize & Purple. The amazing thing about the LRA is that every dollar raised goes directly to research. Since the LRA Board covers all fundraising and administrative costs, 100% of your gift will support lupus research programs.
What Drives You?
We often think of motivation as something positive—passion, excitement, inspiration. But the truth is, many of the things that move us to act start with discomfort. Fear can push us to prepare. Frustration can push us to improve something that isn’t working. Even anger can fuel advocacy for a cause we care deeply about.
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The key isn’t avoiding the negative ones—it’s deciding what we do with them. When channeled productively, they can lead to action, generosity, resilience, and change.
Sometimes fear motivates us to protect what we love. Sometimes gratitude motivates us to give back. And sometimes a mix of both pushes us to step up in ways we might not have otherwise.
So if something is stirring in you—whether it’s concern, hope, frustration, or compassion—don’t ignore it. Ask yourself: What action is this emotion inviting me to take?
Whatever emotions are driving your actions, make sure your guilt, fear, ___________ (fill in the blank that resonates for you) is serving you to act in a productive way.
Keep connecting,