I’ve always been drawn to the line in John Legend’s song, All of Me… “Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections.” There’s such a powerful truth in that simple phrase.
Growing up, my dad always said, “no one is perfect,” though he followed up with “but there could be somebody perfect for you.” I’ve always resisted this notion of perfection itself, because it feels like an impossible and entirely subjective standard.
Maybe I have been happily married for over 20 years because I don’t expect perfection from my husband, nor does he of me. Here’s the challenge, how do you find the right place on the spectrum between a lackadaisical attitude and forever striving for an unattainable idea of perfection?
Embracing Imperfections
Recently, I learned about a Japanese art form called Kintsugi from one of my clients. Kintsugi is literally the art of making imperfections beautiful. Imagine a broken plate. I am actually flashing back to the Brady Bunch episode where they broke the lamp and attempted to glue it back together so their parents wouldn’t notice. Hiding the imperfections and cracks created when it broke. Spoiler alert – they didn’t get away with it!
Hiding imperfections doesn’t work. No one is perfect and we shouldn’t attempt to pretend we are. Instead of trying to seamlessly glue the pieces back together, the Kintsugi artist uses gold to seal the cracks. The breaks aren’t hidden; they’re highlighted but highlighted with something precious and beautiful. making the imperfection the most beautiful thing about it.
It’s a powerful metaphor for appreciating our own unique charms and embracing our authenticity. We are all imperfect, both in our own eyes and in the eyes of others. Kintsugi invites us to own those imperfections, embrace them, and perhaps even try to make them a little “prettier” or more evident in a way that showcases our resilience and growth.
Turning Flaws into Strengths
Back to the question, how do we balance self-acceptance while still striving to grow and learn? In many ways, that’s what 360 feedback is all about – acknowledging our “broken pieces” and identifying areas for growth.
I have often said the overusing strengths can become a weakness. Perhaps it is also true that acknowledging our weaknesses can become a strength. When we are aware of what may not be working as effectively, we can develop a plan, a strategy, or a new habit to mitigate the impact. We can work on it, we can hire to complement it, we can ask for help.
That’s what action plans are for – the “gold” we use to mend and enhance ourselves. And that’s why coaching has such an impact, it helps us navigate our imperfections and turn them into sources of strength and connection.
So, this week, I invite you to consider… what imperfections do you want to make look even better?