What do you think about this statement? The curse of being competent. It seems a little bit like an oxymoron. How can being competent be a bad thing?
Growing up, I was fiercely independent. Maybe as the child of divorce, I had a hard time relying on other people, afraid I couldn’t. I still take pride in being competent, capable, independent, a do it yourselfer. However, this tendency has not always served me.
One experience made this fact blatantly clear for me. I run Connect groups of people within the MG100 community. The sole purpose is to get to know each member on a deeper level and to pose a question or share a goal you are seeking support with.
It was my week to present and ask for advice. I was so prepared. I knew exactly the two professional areas I was focused on. In passing, I referred to myself as hyper-productive as I shared my story. At the end, I clearly articulated my very specific goals. Yet, the feedback I received was almost entirely focused on how to be less hyper-productive and learn to relax.
While I listened to their insights, it wasn’t the help I was seeking. Each person prefaced their advice with something like, “Oh, I know you’ll figure out with the work stuff, you’ve got that.” They seemed to dismiss my request due to my perceived competence.
At the end, perhaps sensing my frustration, one insightful person said, “You know, we all kind of dismissed your ask because we see your ability, does that bother you?” My honest answer was, “Thank you, yes! Just because I can do it, doesn’t mean I don’t need and want help to do it.”
The Competence Trap: When Being Good Becomes Bad
Competence works until it doesn’t. There are two main times when I have seen it backfire.
- When you need help. A time will come when you really need some help, and nobody is offering it because they don’t realize you need help. People are so used to you not needing, wanting or accepting assistance – they stop offering. And when you’re so accustomed to not asking for assistance, it may not even occur to you that you can or should.
- When you are stuck in the same task. When you are so good at something, no one wants to let anyone else do it. As a result, you are stuck doing the same old thing and unable to grow your own skills and accept the next challenge that you would of course, also be great at 😊.
The Workplace Impact: Are Your Superstars Silently Struggling?
This experience really brought the “curse of being competent” into sharp focus. I think it plays out in the workplace all the time. Those who excel at their jobs might inadvertently have more responsibilities dumped on them and feel overwhelmed, simply because it’s assumed they can handle it. Just because someone can do something doesn’t mean doing it is easy for them, or that they want to carry the burden alone.
Another way this impacts your superstars at work is because of fear. When a competent person does something so well, leaders are afraid to let someone else do it. They are more relaxed knowing it is in good hands. But are those hands bored, stifled, unchallenged or possibly even looking for an exit?
So, I urge you to look at the high-performing individuals on your team, those who consistently deliver. Ask them not just what they can do, but what they want to do.
Engage your superstars differently if you want to truly retain them and ensure they don’t silently buckle under the weight of their own competence.