From Empty Nest to Free Bird: The Power of Reframing

It’s done! It was a grueling week. First stop was moving in my freshman, making the multiple trips to Target and Walmart, doing the family orientation, and saying goodbye. At 4:30, after the full day of orientation, we drove from Cornell to Michigan to start the whole process over with my sophomore.

Now, both my kids are safely settled into their respective schools, and we are back home. Yes, the house is quiet, even with the dog.

Everyone keeps asking me how I feel and, “Are you ready to be an ’empty nester’?”  After 5 years of getting my kids through some challenging times, my default reaction is YES! I am so ready for a break. Ha! There is never a break from parenthood 😊.

Now that I am actually in the empty nest, I have been thinking about that phrase. It sounds so sad. I wonder if who came up with the saying was trying to make you feel bad. Now every time someone asks, I find myself gently correcting them. “I’m not an empty nester,” I say. “I’m a free bird.”

That shift in language changes everything. “Empty nest” conjures up images of loss, of something missing, of a home echoing with absence. But “free bird”? That feels open, full of possibility, and—dare I say—exciting. If I let myself focus on what’s gone, I’ll feel sad. But if I reframe this phase as a new beginning, I can focus on the opportunities unfolding for both my kids and for me and my husband.

The Power of the Words We Choose

Of course, I am extrapolating this little example more broadly. This is about paying attention and having intention with the language we use every day.

Words have the power to shape our experiences, our outlook, and even our future actions. When we label something as a “loss,” we naturally focus on what’s missing. When we call it a “launch,” we focus on growth, adventure, and what’s next. The words we choose don’t just reflect our reality—they create it.

I’ve seen this play out in the office too. The way a leader frames a change— “challenge” versus “opportunity,” “problem” versus “project”— can shift an entire team’s mindset. Language is actionable. It can move us forward or keep us stuck.

Choose Words That Move You Forward

So, how do we get intentional about our language? Start by noticing the words that feel heavy or limiting, and experiment with swapping them for words that feel neutral, positive, or actionable. Here’s a quick list of words to choose and words to lose to get you started. Take an inventory of which words you tend towards most often.