When I was a kid, and someone would say something mean to me, I quickly retorted with one of my two favorite sayings, either…
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
“I’m rubber, you’re glue. Everything bounces off of me and sticks to you.”
But the truth is, words do matter. Words can hurt. Words do stick to us.
In many of the leadership and communication courses on Executive Essentials, I talk about language and encourage people to choose neutral, positive, or actionable words.
Why? Because I know that the words we choose impact on our emotions and the emotions of others. That emotional response drives how well somebody will receive your communication.
Words matter. Think about this example:
A real estate agent says, “I have two houses to show you. One is in a great neighborhood and crime has decreased by 25%. The other is also in a great neighborhood and it’s one of the safest neighborhoods in the area. Which house would you like to see?”
The response is always to see the one in the safest neighborhood – of course!
The agent responds, “Great, well we can see both since the houses are right next door to each other.”
Word choice gives a different feeling about the exact same place.
How do your words impact how people receive your ideas or how you’re coaching your people?
In listening to the Marshall Goldsmith book, Triggers, he summarized exactly what I’ve been teaching and he packaged what I’ve been talking about in a very simple way ‘active versus passive questions.’
His focus is on the environment versus individual and personal accountability. His example lands the idea for me:
If you ask somebody, “Do you have goals?” They often respond based on the environment they work in.
For example, they may say, “My organization doesn’t set goals” or “My boss doesn’t set goals for me.” The blame is placed elsewhere.
But, if you reframe the question to be actionable, “What have you done to set clear goals for yourself?” Then they can’t pass the buck.
Here is my takeaway… We all need to pay more attention, not just to our word choice, but to the accountability placed within that word choice.
Get ready to make your voice heard – Election Day is here! Let’s vote and celebrate democracy in action!