Recently I had a great conversation with Jordan Harbinger from the Art of Charm. It was so unlike any other interview I have ever done which hit all the concepts of my mission of clarity, confidence, and connection.

Over the next couple of weeks I am going to be sharing with you parts of that conversation; you can listen to listen to the full podcast at ArtofCharm.com.

The Concept of Clarity

Jordan: Okay. So what’s becoming clear?

Michelle: At the most basic level it is your brand. It’s getting clear on what is the image that you want to project? How do you want to be perceived by others? How do you want to be received by others? You need to be clear on that. I do an activity in my program where within the first five minutes I’ll ask people for words that describe me. I will hide the words that I want them to say. And then when I reveal them after they give me the words, they’re always there. 100% of the time I get two out of my three words. 90% of the time I get all three.

Jordan: Okay. And so that’s sort of like a blind taste test for you?

Michelle: It’s a way to show people that you are clear on the perceptions you want to create about yourself, this can go from a corporate setting all the way down to a date. What do you want somebody to think about you in an interview? What do you want them to think about you on the first date? You need to have a decision about that in your own mind. Get clear, and believe it. And that’s where the confidence starts to come in as well in order to project it, and when you get clear on what it is you want to project, people get it.

Jordan: Okay. But not through some sort of metaphysical transference of ideas, right? This is through nonverbal communication, vocal tonality, etc. right? I mean how are you communicating these ideas to other people? You’re not telepathically telling somebody, “I’m confident. Say confidence.”

Michelle: No, it is definitely not. So first, it’s figuring out what your words are. And that is an exercise that is about self-reflection. It’s about collecting data from others in multiple sources so you’re looking for the consistency of here’s what I want them to say and here’s what they’re actually saying. Where’s my gap? And then collecting a little bit more data around why this is happening. Specifically asking the question: “What is it that I’m doing that’s leading you to that impression?” From there you can make a few tweaks.

If you want to find out how to develop your three words be sure to listen to the full podcast and get the process started in your own life.

Make sure to check out next week’s blog as we discuss confidence in a way that you might not have thought of before.