Conversations don’t fail because we have nothing to say. They often stall because we ask questions that accidentally shut them down.
Think about how often we ask questions that can be answered with one word:
“Did you enjoy the movie?”
“Yes.”
Conversation potentially over.
The challenge isn’t that people aren’t interesting. It’s that we don’t always give them room to be interesting.
That’s why I recorded a short video with one simple shift that can transform your conversations from short exchanges into meaningful connections.
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The Power of a Good Question
What do you think of this easy adjustment, changing closed questions into open? The quality of your conversations is often determined by the quality of your questions.
Open-ended questions invite stories, experiences, opinions, and emotions. Closed-ended questions invite information.
Neither is wrong. Closed questions are useful when you need facts or clarity. But if your goal is connection, curiosity matters more than efficiency.
A question like: “Did you like your vacation?” might get you a simple “yes.”
But ask: “What was the highlight of your trip?” and suddenly you’re hearing about an unexpected adventure, a favorite meal, or a memorable interaction.
Connection lives in the details.
This matters in every relationship. Leaders build trust through questions.
Managers coach through questions. Parents strengthen relationships through questions. Friends deepen connections through questions.
And here’s something important: asking better questions isn’t about having a script. People can tell when you’re simply working through a list of networking questions.
The real secret is genuine curiosity.
I often say, “Stay in curiosity, not conclusion.”
Curiosity signals respect. It tells the other person: You interest me. I want to understand your perspective.
When people feel heard, they feel valued. And when people feel valued, relationships grow.
Your Weekly Challenge
This week, pay attention to the questions you ask. Notice how often you default to yes-or-no questions. Then challenge yourself to reframe a few of them:
Replace “Did you…” with “What did you…”
Replace “Do you…” with “How do you…”
Replace “Can you…” with “Tell me about…”
Try using follow-up questions too:
“What led you to that?”
“What surprised you most?”
“Tell me more.”
And remember… ask something you actual want to know the answer to. Because the goal isn’t simply to keep a conversation going. The goal is to learn something about the other person.
That’s where connection begins.